I wish i was in the wii world.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
