dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
