If that was your dad, he is hot
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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