I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize