One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
