this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
