Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
