did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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