dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
