Apparently you make a good broom.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize