i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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