Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
