He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
