i barfeds in our rink
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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