I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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