So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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