goodnight i made you a song goodbye
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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