My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
