Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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