he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
