She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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