She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
