I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
