Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
