Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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