Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
