Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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