Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
