I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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