walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
