if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My penis needs a shock collar
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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