i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
