We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He did a backflip because drugs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize