she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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