So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize