Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
