if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
