I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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