toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
