They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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