Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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