did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
