I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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