yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
