I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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