Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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