I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
