We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
