it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
