i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
