Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
then he tried to convert me to islam
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Randomize