Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
