Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
