you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
