i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
