it hurts more in the daytime
You smell like stripper and shame
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
