So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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