Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize