My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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