so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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